Monday, 19 May 2014

Adam Peka - The Real Walter White Part 2

Hello and welcome to part two of our "exposing Pocklington's kingpins". If you missed part one on Adam and his rapid rise to the top of one of the worlds most deadly street gang you can find it by clicking here.

Adam by now was at the complete top of his game - Here he is difiantly "flippin the bird" at a cameraman with 8 mile rapper Eminem and ex football star turned hair model David Ginola.

Front Page of the famous World Money Magazine

It seemed the world was Adams oyster or at least Pocklington was. With invites to posh bistro's that had never been seen in such a deprived area before Adam lapped up the attention. Witnesses at exclusive Homophobic club Judson's reported Peka as "popping bottles all night and a real party animal". We caught up with the Dutch named Judson's owner Ieydnt Lyk-Faygz to confirm Adams lavish behavior. He admitted "yes Adam was drinking coke from a glass bottle as it was on special and i think he sneaked vodka in. His friend was causing problems and dressed inappropriately so they were removed and Adam still owes me the £23.95! I have the receipt here you can take it & What kind of fag orders oak smoked salmon?".

Adams outstanding balance from one of Yorkshires most established & finest queer stomping grounds.
It turns out that night ended in tragedy for Adam's guest and street dancing cross-dresser George Oldhouse. Details of the grizzly event are subject to a gagging (very fitting) order put in place by Pocklington's Mayor and shareholder of Judson's Bar Tony Maron.

Maron for mayor campaign in Pocklington - He became Pocklington Mayor with a 103% landslide victory
With policies that even far right groups shy away from Maron wins votes. "Descrimination only exists if they exist. Burn them all then they are not victims of discrimination. I promise you the flying man was thrown to his death for bei" This statement was also added to the gagging order. Adam was clearly upset by what he witnessed that night and vowed to one day be mayor of Pocklington. Adam was seen a day after the event putting up posters in memory of his fond friend. We found one of these posters still intact and in almost new condition.

George Oldhouse - Entertaining the crowds outside of Franks Kebabs two days before his demise
A few weeks passed since the incident and Peka was back to old tricks. Mixing with bent cops who did there jobs by the book and partying hard. His luxury lifestyle increasing by the day and his circle of diverse friends becoming bigger and bigger.

It is believed at the height of his power "Walter Red" had contacts as far away as Market Weighton. He also began mixing with local post man smasher Raul Powson who himself admitted thinking he was Raul Moat. Events took an even weirder turn when Peka was invited to a "cops & cocks" party at the masonic lodge. Due to its close proximity to Pocklington junior school he refused to attend unless the school was shut down for the day. In a bungled job to prevent Adam being bullied police got confused and sent event organizer Tony Blair to torch Woldgate B block.

Blair Blazes B Block - This selfie was sent to the head teacher Jeff "The FertaliseHer" Bower

Jeff Bower, selfie response - Furious not to be invited to the party
The cops & cocks party was clearly off now and the only offer left on the table was an invite to Celebrity Big Brother Winner Maxine Carr & Proud Molester Patrick Gaviscone's House. Peka disliked Gaviscone but found Carr amusing so agreed to go. With senior officers on each arm the Teflon don was walking on water.

Officer Eyedropdsoap, Walter Red & Senior Officer Stifinger
Gaviscone didnt know it but Officer Eyedropdsoap had something up his sleeve. Peka had paid him off to get Gaviscone out of the way so him and Carr could party. A simple cookie tossed into the garden did the trick...

Patrick Gaviscone - Maybe he threw two or three

With Gaviscone out of the way Peka was ready to turn on the style to sweep Carr off her feet. A cat would be sufficient! Remembering a trick his old buddy Snoop D O Double G showed him, get them wet... make it rain.


Was this enough to woo Maxine? Only time would tell. Adam felt awkward picking the money back up on his knees but needed it to turn on the style further. Peka through his network of underground Pocklington fencers, fraudsters and film producers managed to arrange a meeting in a car park about a bike. One of only 3 bikes in Pocklington (the other two property of Roger Eastmooreland a right wing US patriot born in the UK) this was a status symbol alongside that of the Rockefeller building in New York. He had arranged to meet a keen film producer / fisherman from a landlocked area and Michelle Obama as a witness. The incident in that car park shaped movie culture around the world forever.

History in the making? - Peka, Maxine Carr, Michelle Obama & Steven Spielberg in the bin area
Unbeknown to anyone there but the shady character in the bin this picture would be a picture would use to advertise calling home. Spielberg initially put together a couple of failures based on Adam alone. Many viewers suggested Adam was so ugly they needed psychiatric trauma treatment for years to come. I do not echo these views I am just repeating them.

So close to breaking into the market

Walter Red
Finally though Spielberg got it right and released blockbuster smash ET. Adam was not featured in the movie as Spielbergs talent spotters realised Ian Dowie had a more loving face and was more appealing to children. This hurt Adam deep inside and many believe this incident to be the core driving factor of his success. Pocklingtons very own previous great Alfie described a young Peka as "baptised in the sewer". Evidence of Adams influence on the ET production can be found on its wikipedia page below.

Highlighted in blue - Adams claim to Hollywood
That wraps up the second episode. In our next edition what will happen when Adam & Maxine head outside of Pocklington? A kidnap, a man with a broken brain and Danbies owner Victor (Don Colionie) catches up with the man who broke the unwritten code of silence by complaining to Maggie. Also Gordon from topshop and his views on Adam as a youngster.

Complaints Culture? Think twice - Next episode

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