Friday 1 January 2016

Adam Peka kidnapped by derranged lunatic after Zuckerberg payout

 Adam "teflon" Peka has been kidnapped after scooping Mark Zuckerbergs surprise new year payout.

Do not approach
Adam must have suspected this would happen eventually. Carlsberg don't make hated men but if they did..... Regardless of this nothing could have prepared Adam for the lunatic he would face on new years day. It is reported local man Remmer has kidnapped Adam for reasons that are yet unclear. Remmer described by Mrs Booth as "the kid with the broken brain" this fruit loop was known for lovingly cuddling his first pet to death in a bizarre show of solidarity.

Feared by police and petshop owners Remmer is a lethal figure who has escaped justice for years by only eating peanut butter, avoiding mainstream supermarkets and pet stores. It is believed he once ate a suffering pigeon outside of franks kebabs. Owner of Franks Darren denied serving the injured bird but admitted it had happened once before.

It is rumored the deranged Remmer still high from new years eve stalked his pray and ambushed Peka at the almost forgotten love lane phone box.
Peka being held captive

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