Just having a butchers - ISIS Claim Burtons Robbery

ISIS "burgel" award winning profiteers of death

News broke today of an intricate robbery at the famous Burtons butchers in Britain Furst and homophobic stronghold Pocklington. The callous robber was photographed while exiting the place that has ultimately become the final (almost) resting place for many murdered innocent animals. Retired hero cop PC Forstrike described the "burgerlry" as "rare".

With Pocklington's growing upper middle class population and the emergence of trendy gin bars it is little wonder the man went for the cash and not the meat. Gone are the days of a good old Sunday meat raffle in the Oddies and the blind eye to a bit of old fashion fencing.

Pocklington now under the IS Caliphate

In a bizarre show of strength in the largely UKIP area of East Riding ISIS have claimed responsibility for the robbery. Leader of the Islamic state and self proclaimed Caliph Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi sneered "They are not serving halal, they sell pork and Belle Vita sold me a shit pizza 6 years ago. Do you know they boil the kebab meat?" The robber is clearly in ISIS uniform (all black). Al-Baghdadi has vowed to build the worlds largest mosque on the oval and instantly apply sharia law to Pocklingtons lawless streets. Its rumored many including local hard nut Chris Tatterson have gone into hiding in anticipation of the new laws.

Local terror supporter sympathizer Rodg Eastmoreland has welcomed the expanded caliphate in an interview with the Pocklington Post "If they stop fracking I am all up for the caliphate." He did express concerns about the Christmas tree industry but conceded thats the price of multiculturalism.

The insurers and police have estimated that exactly £4500.00r was stolen in the "high steak" robbery! This makes the meat robber one of the most successful in Pocklingtons colorful history. Fan mail has flooded in with many young females flocking to Pocklington to "meat" the famed robber. Complaints have flooded into Burtons about the state of the surfaces. Items have clearly been left out in what looks like a untidy torture dungeon frequented by Ted Bundy.

Pocklingtons other notable heists include:

1. The JCB ram raid of Llyods TSD when the police tyres were slashed in advance. Sadly they got away with no money after Maggie from Danby's gave chase. 
2. The armed raid on 1079 garage Hewson & Robbin Cunts saw cigarettes and a few hundred pounds taken before the police helicopter found the bandits celebrating in the rugby club.
3. Stuart Howell callously stole 7 fish fingers and a sausage from the dining hall at Woldgate by concealing them in his pocket

Is Cocaine in the UK even Cocaine anymore?

The question may seem stupid but is completely logical. I ask it through my own experiences with cocaine and the variants in effects, quality & price. Obviously its cut at almost every level but the real question is has much of the nation has been fooled from the highest level and sold a synthetic version.

Think about the benefits from the top level movers and day to day street dealers of cocaine:

• Profits increase in dramatic fashion
• Supply becomes almost endless
• Synthetic cocaine is legal to purchase as a research chemical (legal to buy)
• Obviously possession of synthetic cocaine carries no criminal charges (at present)
• The resale of it is not the same offense as selling class A drugs (if labeled not for human consumption/research chemical it is completely legal to sell)

So thats basically increased profit and reduced risk - Dream combo! I wonder if people today in many areas of the UK have ever had genuine cocaine and if they have has it ever been over 5% purity. I have taken cocaine in many countries and found it to be totally different to the UK and guess this boils down to purity.

Cocaine prices in areas of the UK have dropped to as low as £25 per gram (without bulk or loyal buying). We have also seen a huge rise in "pure/power/flake" - apparently high purity cocaine. This "pure" cocaine sells for between £80 & £100 per gram. I know of testing done on "pure" in the UK that returned purity rates of 8% indicating that if £100 a gram cocaine is 8% what on earth is the purity of the £25 a gram stuff? More to the point what is filling the other 92%+ in the cocaine?

I find it common that people believe they are connoisseurs of cocaine and will scoff at this post. "I never buy shit coke blah blah blah". Many believe the "gum rub" test proves quality if your gums go numb. Well I was not born yesterday but most shops stock baby teething powder. This products entire design is to give the numbness to stop pain, much in the way cocaine was used in dentistry & Nolvocaine/Lidocaine still is. Others can tell by the smell & taste... What we must remember in this day and age of copying culture tastes & smells can be copied with synthetic substances. I ask of these experts who has actually been to Bolivia, Peru or Columbia and tried pure cocaine? You maybe are just an expert in spotting good synthetic cocaine through no fault of your own.

Is the war on drugs making drugs more dangerous (or the replacement substances at least)? Its time the war on drugs stopped and legislation is brought in to lower the risks and encourage safe using much like Holland. Drugs can be tested at many places in Amsterdam without fear of arrest. UK drug policy must change to save lives. Education and awareness is key.

Drug testing kits seems to be a growing market for business savvy folk these day. If you need help with addiction check out this site. Feel free to comment share and follow this blog.